Annalise Holland has not eaten a meal in ten years. She has been seriously ill since she was 12. She is 26 years old, she has less than a year to live, and she has already chosen the date on which she will die.

Holland, from Adelaide, South Australia, was diagnosed at 18 with Autoimmune Autonomic Ganglionopathy, a rare condition in which the immune system attacks the autonomic nervous system. The damage to her body has been severe and progressive. She relies entirely on total parenteral nutrition, a process that delivers nutrition directly into her bloodstream through what she describes as the last viable vein in her chest.

"If this vein gets blocked, then basically there's no way of giving me hydration or food," she told A Current Affair. "You basically starve to death."

After being told by doctors that her condition was terminal, Holland made the decision to access Australia's voluntary assisted dying program, which is available in every Australian state and territory except the Northern Territory to people with a condition expected to cause death within six to 12 months, as assessed by two specially trained doctors. She has kept the specific date private, saying the most important thing is protecting her family.

What she has done with the time she has left is create what she calls a "f*** it" list, twenty experiences she wants to have before she dies, made up largely of things most people take entirely for granted.

She has already rented her own apartment. She has flown in a helicopter. She has tried on a wedding dress, specifically so she could see her father's reaction and create a positive memory with her family at a time when almost every shared memory involves a medical crisis.

"Everything is bad memories with us at the moment," she said. "There's nothing to go like, 'Oh, remember that nice moment?' It's all like, 'Oh, that time you had to be resuscitated,' or, 'You know, that time you almost died.' It's so negative, so it's nice to have a positive memory."

But one item on the list is more painful than the rest. Holland wants to watch a baby being born.

She wants to witness a birth because it is the closest she will get to the future she has always wanted and knows she will never have.

"The bit that destroys me the most about all of this and always makes me cry is not being able to be a mother," she said. "That's really, really hard when you're 26 and all your friends are having babies or announcing pregnancies. I love seeing it, but it's hard because I want that life so bad."

Holland was not always in favour of voluntary assisted dying. She describes having once been opposed to it, a position that changed entirely after she became seriously ill and after she formed a close friendship with Lily Thai, a 23-year-old who also had AAG and who accessed voluntary assisted dying in 2023.

"We just had the most beautiful friendship in that time and spent nearly every day together," Holland recalled. "I pinky-promised her I'd do anything she wanted me to do, so I held her hand as she underwent VAD. She was so ready and so brave."

Her palliative care specialist, Dr Chloe Furst, has defended Holland's decision, pushing back against criticism about her age.

"Why prolong suffering and have reduced dignity when we have an option that gives people that choice?" she told A Current Affair. "Annie's suffering is no more or less than someone that's 90."

Holland herself has spoken about the unexpected peace that has come with making the decision.

"When you've been sick for such a long time, death becomes something that's not so scary," she said. "It sounds strange, but it's incredibly empowering."

If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 in the US, or the Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK.